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Writer's pictureErica Thomas , LMFT

Do I Really Want to Eat That?


Next to the grocery store they opened a new Poke place. I thought about my step-daughter and how she might like it if I took her to the Poke place for lunch.


Wait! What am I thinking? I don’t even like Poke. And what would be the point of taking her out to lunch?


Going out to eat is one of the primary social activities in our culture. In fact when people plan to socialize, going out to eat is often the first and last idea.


This type of recreational eating is NOT consistent with my intention to use food as medicine.


I’m not saying that I don’t ever want to eat out, or socialize over food. Just maybe not so often.


I'm practicing other ways to be social that are not about food, and I hope to model the same for my step-daughter.


I realize that the "Let's do lunch"idea is so ingrained that it popped into my head even though I have no desire to eat Poke.


What other foods do I automatically eat even though I don’t really love them or they make me feel bloated after eating them? Birthday cake.


My boyfriend tried to be healthy and make me a sugar free cake this year. The artificial sweeteners in the cake made my stomach hurt. I still ate that cake, small pieces at a time to minimize the effect. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings after he went to the trouble, but really, next year NO artificial sweeteners. 


Why can't we have a nice bowl of Birthday fruit salad?


How much of what you eat is because you really want that food? And how much is social conditioning or advertising?


I realize that I might start a “diet”, tell myself I can’t eat chips and chocolate anymore and then feel deprived.


When I was a teenager and didn’t limit the foods I could eat, I never ate chips because I didn’t like them, they were too greasy and salty, not my thing. It’s some people’s thing, just not mine. But now, if I’m “dieting”, I pity myself because I can’t have them as if I’ve just lost my best friend.


Dieting has encouraged a mixed up relationship with foods that I don’t even like that much. 


What if it IS my favorite food. Chocolate for example. I have had quite the love affair with chocolate. Even so, in my younger days I went through a period when I wouldn’t eat Hershey’s chocolate because I’m a chocolate snob and I MUCH prefer a Toblerone.


However, during times when I was “dieting”


I would lust after a Hershey’s kiss as if it were the finest chocolate in Belgium. 


I no longer have forbidden foods.


I’ve seen how that doesn’t work.


I work at being more mindful of what I’m eating and why.


Is it something that I really want? Or did the urge come up when I saw the ad for Dove bars?


I tune into my body, about what nutrients my body is craving.


My brain may be screaming for the Dove bar, but if I check in with my body, maybe my body just really wants some broccoli. 


What does your body want to eat?

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